When I said “I’m seeing both Amen Dunes and Fleet Foxes in Pittsburgh on Thursday…,” what I meant was “I’m spending Wednesday night in the ER with two very large cysts and free fluid in my abdomen.” I thought it was kidney stones. That would’ve been simple, and I have suffered through kidney stones at shows before.

(Ariel Pink at the Grog Shop in 2013. The floor was sticky and I was a little high on percocet the whole time but I think it was an okay experience?)

I thought, while asking for a third bump of morphine, that I would still be driving to Pittsburgh the following afternoon. Then I walked outside and tried to get in my father’s truck and, well, I’ve been on anti-nausea medication since.

They were playing 2 days later in Columbus, so I bought a ticket to that and, well –

(you know.)

Now, though! I have a ticket to just Fleet Foxes in Cincinnati in July, and though I hate driving in Cincinnati, and I hate that I missed out on Amen Dunes (I’ve seen them twice before, though, so it hurts a little less than it would otherwise), I am okay with this change of plans.

I would like, though, for my body to be okay. Just okay! I’m not even asking for “good” or “perfect.” Just. Not ill.

For awhile.